QUESTIONS
- Why does the author say there is no pressure for you to be in a relationship?
- What is the first author’s ‘one true necessity’ for finding yourself and someone you really fit with throughout your adolescent years?
- What does the second author believe is the key word for relationships?
- What sort of things does the article indicate might blind us to red flags or the reality in front of us?
- Why does the author recommend caring for your own needs?
ACTIVITIES
Building a healthy self-ship: Let’s try the author’s activity for building a healthy self-ship. Set yourself up with a pen and some paper and a five minute timer. Divide your paper into three sections:
1. Core values – you want to find the values that act as guiding principles in your life. These might be derived from your faith, your family and your community. Not sure where to start? You can find lists of example core values to inspire you online.
2. Your ideal life – think about the kind of person you want to be. What attributes does this person cultivate? How do they spend their time? What does their dream future look like? What can they do each day to get there?
3. Interests – How do you currently spend your time? Write down the ways you spend your time that leave you feeling most like yourself; at peace, joyful, or maybe valued.
This list can help you to recognise and maintain your sense of self.
Parable of the talents: Read Matthew 14-30. In this Bible passage, Jesus is telling us about the importance of cultivating, investing in and sharing our interests. Sit quietly and think about how the master responds to the three servants. What do each of the servants do that is different? What inspires you or encourages you in this passage? What does this passage tell you about how to live your life?
A gift for others: All of the authors identify that it is easy to lose yourself in a relationship. God gives each of us talents, interests and gifts that we can share with the people around us. What gifts has God given you that you can share with others? Maybe you love soccer and could ask a friend to kick a ball around with you. Maybe you could bring your guitar to your next gathering and have your friends sing while you play acoustic versions of the latest songs. Maybe you are passionate about animals and could volunteer at a local shelter. Maybe you love reading and could start writing reviews for the school newsletter.
Scrapbook loved into being: Set aside an hour or two to dedicate to building a collage or scrapbook of the people in your life that you love and that loved you into being. Maybe they are someone you trust or like to seek advice from, or someone you feel most yourself when they sit silently beside you. Ask them to write a little message to you next to their photo, or you can record a quote they spoke that really inspired you. You could add pictures of shared interests or write what you love most about them. You could record an anecdote about a particular time you shared together that touches your heart.
FOR YOUNGER STUDENTS
Support posters: Bring in photos from home of different people you love. Have some old magazines ready to cut up as well. Ask students to build a collage of the people they love. Students can write the names of people they don’t have photos of. Invite the students to cut out pictures or words from magazines that remind them of these people, or of activities they do with these people to add to their photo collage. Make an ‘our support network’ wall in your classroom to stick the posters up for students to look at and remember the people that love them.
Who can we trust?: Sit students in a circle. Have pictures cut out of different people in the community such as police officers, friends, parents, teachers, shopkeepers, dog walkers, etc. Ask the students to put the pictures in order of people they can trust the most to people they can trust the least. Explain that the relationships we have with each of these people are different. Ask the students to tell you some examples of the kinds of things they would trust each person with (for example, they would ask their shopkeeper to help them find the apples but not ask them to play on the swings).