Why do some people choose chastity? What would a Catholic nun know about relationships? She’s not married and doesn’t have children. You may look at her life and think ‘she’s non generative’. Actually, our Catholic Catechism states: ‘all the baptised are called to chastity. All Christ’s faithful are called to lead a chaste life in keeping with their particular states of life.’ (#2348)
The goal in each vocation is to love God with all one’s heart, mind, soul and strength, and to love one’s neighbour like one’s self. To each person, God will give the graces necessary to grow in holiness.
The particular state of life I have been called to is religious life, where I take vows of chastity, poverty and obedience. All these three vows are about relationship and sharing goods. Obedience – listening to God and to others. Poverty – sharing of all my goods and belongings. Chastity – forgoing an intimate sexual relationships, however, still being open to deep friendships with people, where there is mutual sharing of innermost feelings. For me intimacy is the only way to live consecrated celibacy.
St Irenaeus wrote in the first century ‘The glory of God is the human person fully alive’. In living a celibate life, dedicated to the life and person of Jesus, for the service of God and the church, a person must have a strong prayer life. A vocation is not a job. A vocation is your whole life. It is simple, and profound all at once. The word ‘vocation’ comes from the Latin word: vocare, ‘to name or call’. It takes great conviction to follow a vocation, to follow a call that you can’t really name or explain to others. So why would someone choose a life of chastity/celibacy.
The Constitutions of my religious congregation the Sisters of St Joseph explains that through our public commitment we are called to love with undivided hearts, and to dedicate our selves to the service of God and our neighbour. I hear echoes of Thomas Aquinas who said ‘love is willing the good of the other’. What does that mean for me in real life? It means that when I meet someone, I try not to have a pre-conceived idea of them, and whether I am going to be a friend to them or not. I am open to listening to them, spending time with them. Healthy growth in love becomes less and less about the self, and more about the other.
Being in religious life and being a Catholic nun, I have to know about relationships. I have to live with people that I don’t choose to live with. I am always making choices about being in respectful relationships every day of my life. The challenge is to embrace the ways of living and loving that are generous, faithful and fruitful. There is a radical openness to the unexpected. To seeking those on the margins – no matter what they look like, how they speak, which country they are from, if they are homeless, in detention, LGBTIQ – I don’t judge. Actually, I make it a point in my life to reach out. I go to places and visit places like detention centres, where others don’t want to go. I give hope.
Just because I’m a Catholic nun doesn’t mean that I stop belonging to a family – or being a daughter, a sister, an aunty, a Great Zia. I am called to live in the world today, being the best possible person in each of these roles.
American Benedictine nun Joan Chittister in her book The Fire in These Ashes acknowledges the completeness of the journey of personal transformation. She says:
‘To live a religious life takes all the life we have.
To live a religious life takes
• the heart of a hermit
• the soul of a mountain climber
• the eyes of a lover
• the hands of a healer
• and the mind of a rabbi
It requires total immersion in the life of Christ and complete concentration on the meaning of the Gospel life today.’
My choosing religious life embodies a vibrant invitation to live, because our vows have value only because it says something about the desire to be alive.
In his letter to Consecrated men and women, Pope Francis reminded them: ‘I want to say one word to you and this word is joy. Wherever consecrated people are, there is always joy!’.