I compose blog posts in my head. Words and ideas are given birth deep within and then freed after a bit of pondering. Some of the blogs that I have written are the result of a lightning bolt of inspiration; a seed planted which just kept growing. Some are impatient and do not let go until the last word is written, the last thought expressed. This blog, however, has sat with me for over a month. I think, patiently waiting for me to learn enough to articulate it.
Lately, I have been pondering God’s ever loving presence in my life. Perhaps the reason I have taken so long to write this blog is because God is patiently waiting for me to understand her message, the message of her unconditional love for me.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
How this verse captures God’s perfect love for us. She is patient, all forgiving, always protecting, trusting, hoping, never relinquishing or giving up on her imperfect creation.
I have felt God’s presence and her perseverance in my life. Like many people, I hear her message most when I am struggling. Sitting in my high school chapel dealing with my teenage anguish, an image of a parent holding the hand of a child came to me. Instantly I knew I was the child and felt her love wash over me.
When I found out that the same chapel was blessed on the birthday of someone I needed to forgive, I felt her gently pushing me in the path of love.
Every now and again I am brought to my knees by responsibilities and my own unrealistic expectations of myself. When I fail to turn to her, she sends the Holy Spirit to work through my friends and family providing support, understanding, hope and protection.
I was sitting in mass earlier this month when I heard an excerpt from the Gospel which has stayed with me: Remain in me, as I in you. As a branch cannot bear fruit all by itself, unless it remains part of the vine, neither can you unless you remain in me (John 15:4).
That is the challenge, to love as expressed in the Bible and to welcome God’s love of me even though I am imperfect and love imperfectly. To accept such an extraordinary gift is a challenge.
So I pray to you: remain with me and continue to persevere in teaching me to remain with you.