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2011 – How to be good

Brian Doyle  |  18 September 2018

How to be good

First, pick up your wet towel and at least, for heavenssake, hang it up to dry.

And wipe the sink after you shave. The sink doesn't have to be shining and spotless, that would be fussy and false, but at least don't leave little mounds of your neck hairs like dead insects for your partner and children to find. At least do that.

It's the little things; they aren't little. You knew that. I am just reminding you. Like the dead sparrow that the old lady across the street picked up from the street where it fell broken and almost unrecognizable as a holy being and she gently dug it into her garden of fading flowers. A little act, but it wasn't little. It sang quietly of respect and reverence for what had been alive and was thus holy beyond our ken.

Or in the morning, when you rush into the shop for coffee, at least say thank you to the harried girl with the Geelong Cat tattooed on her forehead. At least look her in the eye and be gentle. Christ liveth in her, remember? Old Saint Paul said that, and who are we to gainsay the testy little gnarled genius? And the policeman who pulls you over for texting while driving, yes, you are peeved, and yes, he could be chasing down murderers, but be kind. Remove the bile from your tongue. For one thing, it actually was your fault, you could have checked the scores later, and for another Christ liveth in him. Also in the grumpy imam, and in the surly teenager, and in the raving man under the clock at Flinders Street Station, and in the foulmouthed man at the footy, and in the cousin you detest with a deep and abiding detestation and have detested since you were tiny mammals fresh from the wombs of your mothers. When he calls to ask you airily to help him lug that awful vulgar elephantine couch to yet another of his shabby flats, do not roar and use vulgar and vituperative language, even though you have excellent cause to do so and who could blame you?

But Christ liveth in him. Speak hard words into your closet and cast them thus into oblivion. Help him with the couch, for the ninth blessed time, and do not credit yourself with good works, for you too are a package of small sins and cowardices, and the way to be good is not to join the Little Sisters of the Poor in Calcutta, but to be half an ounce better a man today than you were yesterday.

Do not consider tomorrow. Consider the next moment after you read this essay. Do the dishes. Call your mother. Coach the kids' team. Purge that closet of the clothes you will never wear and give them away. Sell the old machinery and turn it into food for those who starve.

Express gratitude. Say a quiet prayer for broken and terrified children. Write the minister and ask him to actually do the job he was elected to do, which is care for the bruised among us, not pose on television. Pray quietly by singing. We do not know how prayers matter but we know that they matter. Do not concern yourself with measuring and calculating, but bring your kindness and humor like sharp swords against the squirm of despair and violence.

The Church is you. Christ liveth in you. Do not cloak Him but let Him be about His business which is using the tools the Creator gave you and only you to bring what light you can. You know this. I am only reminding you. Work with all your grace. Reach out. Do not rest. There will be time and time enough for rest.

Care for what you have been given. Give away that which you treasure most. The food of the spirit is love given and granted; savor that and disburse that which is not important. Use less, slow down, write small notes. All the way to heaven is heaven, said old Catherine of Siena, and who are we to gainsay that slight smiling genius? Remember that witness is a glorious and muscular weapon. What you see with your holy eyeballs and report with the holy twist of your tongue has weight and substance.

If you see cruelty, call it by its true name. If you hear a lie, call it out in the open. Try to forgive even that which is unforgivable. That is the way forward for us. I do not know how that can be so but it is so. You and I know that. I am only reminding us. Be who only you are. Rise to what you dream. Do not cease to dream. Do not despair even though pain comes hand in hand with joy. That is the nature of the gift we were given. It is the most amazing and extraordinary and confusing and complicated gift that ever was. Never take it for granted, not for an instant, not for the seventh of a second. The price for it is your attentiveness and generosity and kindness and mercy. Also humour. Humour will destroy the brooding castles of the murderers and chase their armies wailing into the darkness.

What you do now, today, in these next few minutes, matters more than I can tell you. It advances the universe two inches. If we are our best selves there will come a world where children do not weep and war is a memory and violence is a joke no one even tells, having forgotten the words. You and I know this is possible. It is what He said could happen if we loved well. He did not mean loving only the people you know. He meant every idiot and liar and thief and blowhard and even your cousin. I do not know how that could be so but I know it is so. So do you.

Let us begin again, you and me, this afternoon. Ready?

 

Topic tags: responsiblerelationships, valuesandmoraldecision-making, buildingpeace, catholicsocialteaching

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