WORDS Anushki De Cruze

Waiting for a sign from God might not be the best option.

Forgive me, Lord, for I have sinned.

Sorry I haven’t spoken to you in a while. It’s just… I can’t stop thinking about what I’ve done. Or, rather, what I continue to do. It sits at the back of my head and festers like an old ham sandwich hidden in the crevices of my school bag. Should I tell you what it is? It all seems very blurry to me now, looking back. The colours, the noise, the pure adrenaline pulsing through my veins...

Yes. It is what you think it is. You don’t know what it’s like, to hold a revolting piece of rubbish in your hands for minutes on end, praying that a bin will come your way. Alas, it didn’t, and I found myself sneakily dropping the rubbish in the grass and moving on. And then there was the time I went to Echuca for the weekend and didn’t turn any power points off. I eat my genetically modified food in a plastic wrapper and take thirty-minute showers each morning and night.

What can I say? I know what I’m doing is wrong, but really, why should I change my ways? I have the power to either pick up a piece of rubbish or walk past it. I could take shorter showers. I could bring my lunch to work in reusable containers. But I don’t choose to do any of these things. I’m quite content to rely on some young, passionate, fresh-out-of-university greenie to eat enough lettuce for the both of us.

That’s okay, right? There will always be someone passionate out there who will do enough to make up for my slacking off. And really, what difference could I make anyway? I am but one person.

Or am I? I’m sorry, God, for being terribly indecisive. I’ve always been that way. But maybe I CAN make a difference. Do I really want to rely on someone else to clean up the mess I’ve made? That sounds incredibly unfair.

Please, God, send me a sign! A burning bush. A rainbow. Anything! A white dove, perhaps? Yes! If I see a white dove today with an olive branch in its beak I will change my unenvironmental ways. Cross my heart and the deal’s done, I promise you.

Fabulous! From the day I see the sign, you shall see me rugged up with jumpers and beanies in winter, away from the dreaded heater. I’ll be taking shorter showers and abiding by the 3 Rs in to time at all. You’ll look down at me from above and be able to spot me easily – I’ll be the one being groovy in the Prius.

Hang on a minute, I just thought of something. What if… what if the sign’s already been sent? What if I missed the sign? What if the sign is among us right now as I speak? Plumes of carbon dioxide floating up into the atmosphere. Melting icecaps. Shouldn’t that be sign enough? Isn’t this a sign that we’re doing something wrong? Every action has an equal or opposite reaction, right?

I never thought I’d see the day when I’d need divine intervention to do the right thing.

Actually – what am I thinking? I shouldn’t need to stumble upon a burning bush while on a reflective hike up the mountains to realise that being environmentally-friendly is cool. The answer has been right in front of me. Why did I ever doubt it?

Thanks for all the help, God!