WORDS Carmel Williams

We were all a bit nervous that first night. What was in store for us? What would we gain? More importantly, how much of ourselves would we be expected to give?

We were a mixed lot, young, old, male, female, people who had come with their partners and some of us who were there alone. We were met at the door to the parish house by friendly faces that we would come to know as ‘the team’.
Pinning on our tags (first names only) we sat down in the cosy lounge room and began to share our stories.
Someone said, ‘When I saw the notice in the paper Catholics Returning Home, it seemed to be there just for me.’
Most of us smiled. We’d felt that too.

I can’t tell you why, after living most of my adulthood as a lapsed Catholic, I decided that something very important was missing. I am healthy, happily married, have good friends and enough money, in fact I am probably in one of the most contented times of my life. Yet the gentle nudge to come back became as insistent as it was mystifying.

Twelve months before, on a trip overseas, I had inexplicably bought a set of rosary beads. I kept them under my pillow and rolled them through my fingers every night, trying to remember the prayers that they signified. I crept into Mass on occasional Sundays and it seemed that every time I did the homily was speaking directly to me. So I went to Catholics Returning Home not really knowing why, but wanting to find out more.

The six nights of the program had particular themes. There was a video and discussion on why Catholics leave and then return. One night was an information session on the changes since Vatican II. Every night the group shared their stories, remembering good and not-so-good experiences with religion.

It was the team that most impressed me. These were strong Catholics practising their faith and secure in their spiritual community, yet they shared their own struggles and failings with us and encouraged honest discussion and criticism of the Catholic Church. This more than anything else convinced me that I wanted to reconnect with God through the Church I was baptised into.

There was only one stumbling block, and that was week five. I approached the fifth week the way someone might who was going to have wisdom teeth extracted without anaesthetic! We were going to discuss reconciliation. The team had reassured us that it was very different from the days of confession but I was very sceptical.

I hadn’t been to confession in over forty years, and I wasn’t sure I could do it. I felt real sadness that I might have to leave the group. I asked God what I should do, and a few days before that dreaded fifth night I found myself phoning a local church and making an appointment to see the parish priest.

I arrived early for the appointment and loitered around the cold windy church ground until I was ten minutes late. I forced myself to ring the presbytery bell just once and was turning for home by the time it was answered. A lovely man with a serene smile opened the door wide and said, ‘Come in my dear I’ve turned the heater on for you.’

I can’t describe how wonderful the next thirty minutes were. How this quiet holy man helped me wipe out all those years of isolation from God and gave me an understading of  my value as one of God’s children. I have often heard people talk of the heaviness of sin. I can truly say I felt as light as air as I left that day.

The very next Sunday I took what I like to think of as my ‘first communion’ at the same church and gave myself a communion breakfast of a cake and coffee at the coffee stall outside Mass.

My fifth night at the program was a night of learning what I already knew: that reconciliation can be one of most healing and nourishing things you can do for a bruised spirit.

The six week program is finished but my journey back to God is just beginning. I pray that my remaining years on earth will be productive for God’s purpose for me.

If any Catholics reading this have an opportunity to be involved in the Catholics Returning Home program, do think about it. For it is your faith and example that shine a light on the pathway for people like me.

If you would like to talk about your own experiences of leaving or wanting to come home to the Church, contact the National Office for Evangelisation on www.evangeliseaustralia.com or phone 1300 4FAITH (1300 432 484).

CATHOLICS CONNECTING

The National Office for Evangelisation has developed Reconnect, a program for Catholic parishes looking to reach out to those who have left the Church. The small group program is designed to provide a welcoming environment for those who are not active in the life of the Church to share their stories of faith and, in so doing, consider returning to regular worship.

- For more information on Reconnect, go to http://www.evangeliseaustralia.com/resources/index.php

The Brisbane Archdiocese also runs a Catholics Returning Home program. For more information about programs operating in the diocese, go to

http://bne.catholic.net.au/asp/index.asp?pgid=11169

Another organisation that runs Catholics Returning Home programs across Australia is Evangelisation Resources Down Under. Jan Heath runs programs in diocese across Australia. For contact details and more information, go to www.erdu.com.au

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