Words Catherine Marshall

If ever Michael* doubted God’s presence in his life, bankruptcy has reassured him. His conviction has upheld his family in what might otherwise have been a dark and desperate chapter in their lives.

Long before everyone started talking about the ‘credit crunch’, Michael saw storm clouds looming. His Sydney-based consultancy was gradually being squeezed by the strengthening dollar, the ongoing drought, and a giant new American competitor. Clients were taking longer to settle their bills, and some started defaulting on their payments.

Three years earlier, Michael had moved with his wife Sarah and their two children into a big, beautiful house on Sydney’s northern beaches. But when trouble set in, they realised that their dream home would have to be sacrificed. Sarah recalls, ‘I felt like I was a caretaker in the place, it was never really, really ours.’

Moving his family into a rental house, Michael spent the following months juggling depleted bank accounts, robbing Peter to pay Paul, and waking up in the dark hours wondering how he would save his business. Sarah’s job as an occupational therapist with a palliative care service was not enough to keep the business afloat. Michael finally capitulated when his accountant told him that bankruptcy was inevitable.

‘It’s a funny feeling’, the 52-year-old reflects. ‘It’s a case of, all of the stress has been lifted off me and that’s great, but now I have another set of issues. I don’t have a job, the prospects of getting employment are worse because of my age, and we’re not allowed to borrow much. That’s like a cage being put around you.’

His dreams now shattered, Michael was also racked with guilt. ‘I felt bad for everyone: the banks, American Express, my wife and children. I dragged all of my family into this. Sarah and the kids have done nothing to be in the abyss.’

Because she had countersigned a car lease, Sarah was forced into bankruptcy alongside Michael. ‘It’s hard not to say, “What have I done?”’, she says. ‘This wasn’t where I saw myself at 50. There are things we wanted to provide for the kids. Our son needs braces, and we’ve just found out that our daughter’s eyesight has deteriorated to the point where she needs special corrective contact lenses. We just can’t afford it, and that really irks me.’

But despite the heartache, the family grew closer together. The family would squeeze together on the couch to watch their one remaining telly. Michael continued to attend Mass with his daughter. ‘We’d go to mass, and then we’d go and light a candle and my daughter would talk to a couple of our ladies of the church, then I’d get her a hot chocolate and drop her off at school’, he says. ‘I needed to do it every morning. It gave me a lot of comfort.’

Their worst fear was that they would no longer be able to pay their children’s Catholic school fees. But just a week before Christmas, their daughter was granted a bursary for 2009. ‘She’s never taken her education at the school for granted’, says Sarah. ‘She wrote a letter herself explaining what the school meant to her.’

Their son, whose school is assisting with a payment plan, has accepted the family’s change of fortune. ‘I realise that we have no money and I’ve accepted that, and I’m dealing with it’, he says. ‘I know we’re strong and we’ll get through it.’

The family say they have been buoyed by the conviction that God is working with them. They find strength in unexpected places: the rental house; the family dog, whose love is comforting and unconditional; the meaningful words that jump at them from a homily or scripture reading; their shared sense of dry and witty humour; the money that arrives out of the blue and at precisely the right moment; and the spontaneous generosity of family, friends and strangers. ‘I’m clocking up in my mind all these wonderful acts of kindness that I hope I can repay’, Sarah says.

Financial disaster led Michael to seek the company of people worse off than he is. He volunteers with St Vincent de Paul, working with unemployed people in Sydney’s Redfern. ‘I get such motivation out of seeing these people’, he enthuses. ‘Every one of them has made a life out of what they’ve got. It gives me ability to disassociate myself from my problems and see other people’s problems, how they’re handling them and get strength from that.’

Volunteering helped Michael to move quickly back into a positive frame of mind. He also recommends those facing financial hardship to look for inspiration in people they meet along the way. ‘Don’t be embarrassed by the situation that you’re in. When it comes up I don’t mind talking about it—and the times I have talked about it I’ve got some of the most amazing advice.’

Sarah suggests jotting down acts of kindness so that you can reflect later upon the grace that was present during times of despair. ‘And don’t lose faith!’ she says. ‘There is a much more powerful force at work if only we open ourselves up to it. And what God wants is for us to be in tune with him so he can guide us.’

Bankruptcy may have left a gaping hole in the lives of the family, but it has not shaken their or their readiness to rebuild. ‘We’ve got each other, we’ve got our health, we’ve got our family unit, we’ve got a lot of love in this family, and we’ve got God on our side.’

*Michael’s surname has been omitted for privacy reasons.

Listen to a podcast interview with Michael as part of the Jesuit Lenten Podcast Series.