WORDS Gabrielle Donnelly

In this extract from an interview first published in The Catholic Herald, Nicole Kidman says her parents, Dr Anthony Kidman and his wife Janelle, provided her with the moral compass she needs to find direction in her life.

Nicole Kidman smiles when asked about her childhood memories of growing up in Australia.

‘All the references that I have from my childhood are very, very good’, the actress says. ‘You know how some people have a quite chequered, ugly memory of childhood? Well, I have the opposite where I just look back at it through rose-coloured glasses.

‘My Mum is always saying, “But don’t you remember this or that terrible thing that happened?” And I’m like: “No. I don’t remember that bit at all!”’

Kidman was actually born in Honolulu, Hawaii, where her father worked briefly, but the family returned to Sydney when Nicole was just four and her younger sister, Antonia, only two. Until recently her parents lived in the same house where she grew up. It was a happy childhood, she says now, with plenty of love, lots of freedom, and some healthy restrictions, too.

‘Both my mother and my father were quite politically aware, with very, very strong social consciences. I’m very grateful that they raised my sister and me to be able to challenge things, and to question things.

‘My mother was a feminist and she always wanted us girls to have the same opportunities that boys would have had, but at the same time she kept pretty strict reins on us to keep us in order. It was a bit of a push and pull, really, because I was quite rebellious by nature, but every time I did something naughty there was always that little voice at the back of my head going: “Uh oh, I’m going to get into trouble for this!” I always had a good strong moral compass, which I think is a hugely important thing to give to children, because it means that even if you do something wrong, then at least you know it’s wrong, not right. The important part is in knowing the difference.’

If her mother was the day-to-day disciplinarian, she says, it was her father, devout Catholic Anthony, who was her spiritual guide.

‘My father has a very strong Catholic faith, and I have never, ever heard him swear which says something’, she says. ‘He has a strong set of values, and he has passed his Catholicism on to my sister and me, but when he gives advice it’s mostly based on being a good person, being tolerant, and doing unto others what you would wish them to do to you. So, yes, Catholicism is ingrained in me, but at the same time I pride myself on being open-hearted and open to exploring many other religions and ideas too.’

Although she has always admired and respected her father she has admitted that it was only when her life as at a particularly low ebb—in the dark days following her divorce from Tom Cruise—that she was fully able to appreciate the depth of his love for her.

‘When I was growing up, I was always much closer to my mother, Dad’s a bit of a loner. He was always going off and reading books and Antonia and I were, like, “Dad! Dad? Dad!” you know? But when I went through... what I went through... I found out who my father was. Because there comes a time when you’re a daughter, that you suddenly need your father. And when you reach out for your father and he’s there for you, well, that’s a very special thing. My father really stood by me at a tough time. He was strong and dignified, and I’m very grateful that I do have a good father, because having him there with me at that time put me in good stead for carrying on with my life and learning to trust again.’

Now, six years after the end of her marriage to Tom, she has indeed, as she puts it, learned to trust again. Her wedding to country singer Keith Urban, at Sydney’s Cardinal Cerretti Memorial Chapel in June of 2006, was a party that is still being talked about among her friends today.

Now, 18 months into the marriage, the couple are as happy as could be. ‘I’m very proud of our relationship’, says Nicole, simply, of her husband. ‘I’m proud of Keith’s honesty and of his bravery. He’s a wonderful man, and I’m very lucky to have him in my life.’
When they’re not working, the Urbans divide their time between their home in Sydney and the new property they have just bought just outside Nashville, Tennessee.

‘We’re the Tennessee Aussies,’ she deadpans. ‘It’s a select group.’

Her children Bella and Connor, now 15 and 12, with whom she shares custody with Tom, are growing up happy and healthy, and most important of all, she says, kind and considerate. ‘And much, much easier to raise than I ever was—I was a hellion!’
Professionally, too, her life is riding high with her latest film The Golden Compass.

Nicole says the film was a lot of fun to make—and she is particularly pleased with it because at last it is a film which she can show to all the children in her life. ‘Usually, I’m saying to my friends: “Whatever you do, don’t let them see my new film!”’ she laughs. ‘But this is one they can all see, and it’s a lovely thing to show.’

She stops, and nods approvingly. ‘Particularly as the protagonist of this one is a little girl, not a little boy, so we have something to balance out Harry Potter!’

THE CATHOLIC HERALD

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