DEEP
RECONCILIATION
WORDS Sarah Hassall
PHOTO Tony Lewis
Sales opportunity. Investment opportunity. Holiday opportunity. What about an opportunity to get closer to God?
These come by every day. Jan Ruff-O'Herne had a big one, which she relates as giving her the understanding 'that everything is in God's plan.'
As a 21-year-old prisoner of war in Java, Indonesia, during World War II, Jan was taken from the prison camp to a brothel set up for Japanese soldiers. She and nine other young women were raped and tortured daily in the 'comfort station'. After the war she married Tom, a British soldier, and she experienced safety, freedom and the enduring pain of shame. She gave birth to two daughters who, until 1992, never knew of their mother's time in the brothel. At that time, Jan decided to speak out in support of Korean women bearing witness at an international war-crimes tribunal in Tokyo.
Jan's long-held silence hid her past, yet she strove to give her daughters the innocence of childhood she had so cherished. She remembers, with fierce love, 'My father taught me to pray.' And she instilled in her family deep commitment to faith, praying with them and taking them to church regularly.
Her earliest memories of her own childhood conjure up jumping on her father to play as he finished praying—'He always seemed to pray for so long!'—but it was the feeling of love for God and deep faith that permeated. These feelings translated into profound experience as Jan endured wartime suffering, raised a family and now inspires people all around the world with her unswerving message of forgiveness, reconciliation and faith in action.
And she spreads her message with enthusiasm and love. Since opening up to her family in 1992 she has experienced a freedom she never knew was possible.
'Since I spoke out, I don't have that fear inside me, that anybody might find out about my past. For 50 years I carried horrific shame. That has fallen away from me and also I have experienced a terrific healing process, because by speaking out and going to Japan I told the soldiers that I had forgiven them. Forgiveness has been the theme of all my healing.'
Jan went to the tribunal with the resolve of forgiveness. It is the core of all her talks and presentations to people around the world. This confronting meeting was an opportunity to practice forgiveness and live her faith. Both of which Jan chooses to do over and over again.
'I was actually able to embrace the Japanese people. It's like a pressure cooker, you know? All of a sudden you feel free. All of a sudden I had this opportunity to realise, yes, now I can use my suffering to send a message of peace and reconciliation to the world.'
At one 'Reconciliation Dinner', Jan was seated at the table with two elderly Japanese people who had come to tell Jan they were sorry. Jan asked if they had used the comfort station, and one replied that, yes, he had.
'But he was there at that table to tell me how sorry he was that he had done this, so we ended up embracing one another. Can you imagine me embracing him?' Jan laughs at what could justifiably seem so unlikely. 'This is what reconciliation means. I think the victim has to make the first move. I told the Japanese [soldiers] I had forgiven them, and then it gave them a chance to come and say sorry.'
Indeed, Jan tells of how she would pray after each ordeal for the soldiers who abused her. She recalled in prayer Jesus' last wish: for God to forgive those who misunderstood and desecrated his mission.
'I was brought up with a great sense of prayer and that is what saw me through, that I could pray. And I was there with the other girls in that horrible brothel and I was able to pray with the girls. They sort of clung to me as a pillar of strength.
'Somehow even then I thought I had to be here just for those girls, to give them some of my faith; it would rub off on them. Your faith is such an amazing treasure, if you use it well.'
Her mission as a source of strength had begun. Never did she deny the opportunity to do this work.
'I never said to God, “Why did you do this to me?” I knew it wasn't God that wanted me to suffer, it was the Japanese. This is when you need your faith, when you're suffering. When you're in pain and suffering, it's no use blaming God. That's when you need God and I always knew God was with me through it all.'
Her commitment to living her faith blossomed within her family; while her daughters were young she instilled in them a deep connection to prayer and God. After speaking out, Jan found her family grew even closer.
'We grow through the experiences in our lives. God talks to us and comes to us in the experiences of our lives. That's where you find God, in everyday experiences. Even in the terrible ones, there's God there. He's with you.'
Jan encourages people to pray with their children. 'If parents just give children their faith—even if later they don't go to Mass any more—they never lose that faith.'
Jan is a living, buzzing example of living faith in daily life. She is a Special Minister of the Eucharist, ministering also to the sick; she visits nursing homes, participates in liturgy groups, plays the flute, performs readings and has been involved in both the setting up and running of the parish council. A passionate and vibrant member of the community, she is well equipped to describe herself and the way she lives today.
'I'm 82 years old—I should say, 82 years young! I love my church; my faith means everything to me. Without it I couldn't live. I'm very involved in the church—there's a whole life out there, through the church! This is what your faith and your church can give you. You never grow old.'
And yet there is work to do in shaping our communities and creating a society of active faith, practising forgiveness and reconciliation. Of indigenous Australian issues, Jan says, 'We've come a long way, but there is still more to do.'
Her visions of an inspired and uplifting community are heartening. As Jan continues to show others the art of living Jesus' teachings, she knows the importance of inspiring others to do the same.
So act fast—take up an opportunity near you!
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